So MY top ten Christmas films will no doubt be different than yours. There is no Miracle on 34th Street, Santa Claus the movie or It's a Wonderful Life. This is because I work with a man who has cerebral palsy and I have to watch Christmas films all year round. This has destroyed the above films for me. If I'd made this list a few years ago they'd all have been on it but ultimately now i wince everytime they come on like some horrific flashback to Christmas past.
One time, my parents moved the spider plant thing with jaggy leaves just behind the door of the living room to make space for the presents. They moved the leaves to my eye height and I bloody ran into the thing in my excitement so spent all Christmas morning looking at gifts through a watery eye dammit. Or the Christmas I spent all day building my Lego Medieval Castle only to have my dad drunkenly knock it over that night and destroy it. We all have those memories and they hit me everytime a bloody bell rings.
Nicholas Cage is kind of like Christmas, you always expect something good but more often than not are left slightly dissapointed by the whole thing. This film however is awesome. He plays the older brother of bumbling criminals Dana Carvey and Jon Lovitz. After unwittingly aiding them rob a bank on Christmas eve in Paradise, Pennsylvania. They get stuck there, have the locals take them in and help them out with gifts and other such Christmassy things.
It's the classic bad guys with a good heart, it'd could easily have turned into a crappy TV film but the performances are awesome and it's filled with funny moments. Kinda makes me wonder what the hell happened to Dana Carvey cause he was a funny little fucker.
I am a huge fan of Ryan Reynolds, the mans just a funny bastard. In the opening scene of this film he's in a fat suit singing the All-4-one song I swear, I nearly shat myself laughing. I wish this was an over exaggeration but I literally nearly shat myself I laughed so hard. The rest of the film is just as funny.
Reynolds plays a guy who used to be a fat kid who was firmly in the friend zone with Amy Smart in high school. He unwittingly has to return home ten years after leaving over Christmas, now a well built succesful record producer in LA, and tries to get it on with Amy Smart. Unfortunately he has a prima donna dumb ass singer Anna Faris along for the ride and he has competition from Chris Klein who is also a once geek but now "super nice guy".
Filled with comedy gold.
As you may have noticed this top ten is filled with comedy films. So when you have a film with Dennis Leary set during Christmas you're gonna have the fucker in your top ten surely. Now I am fully aware he stole a rather large amount of his stand up from Bill Hicks but in films the guys a funny bastard.
Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis are a married couple going through a bad patch who get taken hostage by jewel thief Dennis Leary on Christmas eve. Unfortunately for him it turns out their whole family is about to arrive for a Christmas meal and they're all mental. It's another bad guy with a good heart movie filled with comedy hijinks. I do love em.
I went to see this film in Livingston cinema in 1990, I was 12. I laughed like a bastard. When I watch it now I still laugh like a bastard. When I went to Canada I spent a large amount of the journey shouting KEVIN (my friend Alex thought he'd forgotten something), apparently the other people on the flight didn't find it quite as funny as I did, I didn't care.
You all know the story, a family are going on holiday for Christmas and accidentaly leave Macaulay Culkin at home. The wet bandits are around the neighbourhood and they want the riches in Macauley Culkins house. It's Tom and Jerry with an annoying kid, and I love Tom and Jerry. I'm still amused by Joe Pesci's constant mumbling swear words. John Hughes my man, you were a genius.
Jack Skellington is the king of Halloween Town, but he's become restless and is searching for something more. After a long walk he appears in Christmas Town and quite frankly one of the greatest musical numbers in any film. So he decides this year the folks from Halloween town are going to do Christmas. It's amazing, you've all seen it so you know it's amazing.
Anyway Clark invites the whole brood over for the perfect family Christmas. It being a Griswold family Christmas it's never going to go too well, cue the chaos. I can watch this film any time of the year, still to this day it is one of the funniest films around. i just wish they hadn't made so many rubbish vacation films after this one. Stop being a dick National Lampoons, if it doesn't have Clark and Ellen it's not a bloody Vacation movie.