10: REIGN OF FIRE (2002)
This is another one of those films I love and a lot of people hate. In my defence though it is a film set in modern day with dragons in it, add Batman to the mix and what’s not to like about this film. One more time Batman vs dragons. Awesome.
9: SHOOT EM UP (2007)
It would be wrong to miss this film out an action top ten because let’s face it, the film is just action. Crazy over the top action with tons of guns and death. It’s not often you get a film that does exactly what it says on the tin. I could talk about the performances, which are good, but ultimately it’s the action that makes this film awesome. Fuck any form of plot that you can’t write in more than one sentence, just give me more fucking guns.
8: PATHFINDER (2007)
Karl Urban is the new Judge Dredd, fuck yeah. In this he’s a Viking brought up by a Native American tribe. He doesn’t know much about being a Viking, but he does know how to kill them when they fuck with his tribe. When I was making this list I was very aware of putting in awesome films you may not have had the pleasure of watching instead of filling it with films you’ll have seen twenty times. This is one of those films, and it’s fucking awesome. On a side note, if you haven’t seen Jesus in Outlander, you should. It’s awesome.
7: FROM PARIS WITH LOVE (2010)
This is the most enjoyable film John Travolta has made in years. Probably because he plays a maniac drug fuelled special agent so he gets to be crazy John and not mental Scientologist John. He teams up with an aid to the US ambassador in France (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) to investigate a drugs ring. This is another one of those films I wasn’t expecting much from but loved. Even just for Jonathan Rhys Meyers carrying around a vas filled with cocaine for most of the film.
6: ONG BAK (2003)
I wish Tony Jaa would make another good film. Since this one he’s pretty much done fuck all worthy of mentioning. Warrior King was basically Ong Bak replacing the statue with an elephant and the sequels to this just don’t live up to expectations. Shame really cause when this came out it looked like we had a new martial arts star in the making. Bugger.
5: INGLORIUS BASTARDS (2009)
Quentin tarentino doing a war film like it’s a western. Fuck me. I love the way it doesn’t even pretend to be historically accurate. Fuck history we have a film to make. This is the most fun war movie ever made, how often can you say that? There are no flaws to this film. Even Eli Roths acting can’t bring it down. I can’t wait to see what Tarentino gives us next, can you?
4: BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF (2001)
Mark Decascos is awesome, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Though I am ashamed to be using the word awesome again, but when you’re making a list of things you enjoy it’s hard not to. This is a French martial arts film set in 1764. The king sends two men to slay a beast that’s been terrorising the French countryside. It’s kind of reminiscent of Hound of the Baskervilles, but with a whole lot of ass kicking going on.
3: KILL BILL (2003,2004)
I’m putting them both together. Yeah I am fully aware of how different the two films are, but I wasn’t going to put on in the top ten and not the other. Uma Thurman is an ex assassin brutally beaten and left for dead on her wedding day, when she wakes up from a coma she seeks revenge. It’s stylish, and so much fun. It also has an appearance from the amazing Sonny Chiba. I love that man, GI Samurai is one of my favourite films of all time. Pure mental.
2: LORD OF THE RINGS (2001,2002,2003)
Yeah I decided to put another series of films together. Let’s face it they all would have been in here. It’s not often a film comes out that actually lives up to your expectations. I’ve been a fan of the books since I read them as a kid. A sad kid that was partial to blood bowl and warhammer fantasy role play but the less said about that the better. A lot of people don’t like the changed ending from the book, but by then I didn’t care. Although I would have liked to see what Guillermo Del Toro would have done with the Hobbit I’m looking forward to more of the same from Peter Jackson. Let’s face it though, if you aren’t under 12 the Hobbit’s a little bit shit. Just saying.
1: RAMBO (2008)
Stallone has made so many good films that no one has paid attention to. I’m not sure how, but at some point in my life Stallone became awesome. I looked back at his old films and they were awesome, even the ones I used to hate. Is there an age you get to when the guy suddenly becomes a legend? This film has possibly the greatest end sequence of any film, ever. I spent the whole time giggling uncontrollably, rocking back and forth. I may have even begun to salivate. It’s possibly the most violent film on the list and is very deserving of all praise. Stallone is the fucking man. But then again I also love Howard the Duck.
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