Saturday, 26 March 2011



George Tillman Jr.

Dwayne Johnson
Billy Bob Thornton
Carla Gugino
Oliver Jackson-Cohen

So for the last couple of days I've been trying to find a bloody cinema playing Wake Wood, apparently they don't exist so I'm going to do a review of this instead. Just as well the DVD comes out on Monday or this would have turned into a ten page rant of badness. Damn Hammer addiction is going to get me into trouble on of these days.

Faster is the new Dwayne Johnson film, and I am happy to say he's back doing action films after a few rather dodgy films for kids. Unfortunately this isn't the welcome return you may have hoped for. He plays Driver, yes his name for the film is driver. Seriously I'm not making this shit up. Anyway, he took part in a robbery with his brother, they got double crossed, his brother was shot and he ended up in jail with a metal plate in the back of his head from a bullet wound that didn't manage to kill him. Of course it didn't manage to kill him, he's the fucking Rock. So he get's out of jail and goes on a murderous rainy fire of vengeance rampage killing spree type thing.
On his case is Billy Bob Thornton playing Cop, he's a junkie cop (who da thunk it?) a few days from retirement, he's been hassled in on the case by his boss, and Killer. A contract killer hired to take the Rock out of action before he get's to the bottom of the double cross. You will have worked out who is responsible for the double cross quite early on in the film, I'm suprised they even bothered with a big reveal when it was blatantly fucking obvious.

Now I know this sounds like a bad review, the story line isn't the best and the acting at times is dubious, but it's a fucking action film. We aren't watching a fucking oscar winning screen writers attempt to show the holocaust in a new way that breaks down the barriers of film and leads to world peace. As an action film it does exactly what it says on the tin. It's in no way the best action film you will see this year. It doesn't break any new ground, but if you switch your brain off at the start you will probably find something to enjoy about it. Turn it off enough and you may even love it. Have a few beers first, it may help.
So instead of a new hammer film I went to see a mediocre action film starring the Rock. It isn't reflected in the review, I like the Rock, this just could have been a lot better. I would wait for it to appear on DVD in tesco for £3. Don't spend a ton of money on it unless you have one of those cineworld passes. If you do, you've probably seen this already.


  1. great review and good to see the rock back kicking ass (I hope). Looks like he could be good in the really OTT action film of the summer Fast 5 (or The 5 go Furious the Enid Blyton adaptation). I Know he won't kick Vin Desiels ass (script won't let it happen) but he's got a great beard in the trailers so there's hope yet. Looking forward to the next review. One year old twins means I don't get out to the cinema any more. James Selwood

  2. Thanks James, it is great to have him back. I've not been that into the fast and furious series but I wanna see the new one... Enid Blyton lol