Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Top ten fake band film list

So this is a list of films made about fake bands... Some of them may have turned into bands after the films were made, creating some kind of crazy doctor Frankenstein hybrid of rock, but I'm doing another list of actual biopic style films on real bands in a minute so bear with me. Oh and I may have missed some of your favourites out. This is either because I haven't seen them, or I don't think they're as good as the ones I've put in here. That's a polite way of me telling you to shut the fuck up and quit yer moaning.

10: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)
John C. Reillys career has been kind of strange. He went from films like Magnolia and Hoffa to this. It's a strange transition, isn't it meant to go the other way. Like Tom Hanks started with Big and then went onto more serious films. Though it does rain frogs in Magnolia so maybe he was a comic genius all along. Anyway this was the first film in which he was the main star, and it's awesome. Even if it's just for Jack White appearing as the most memorable Elvis ever.

It mocks Walk the Line and Ray but manages to do it in a non Wayans brothers annoying as fuck way. Amazingly funny with many funny moments. Even just for his fall into drugs, being threatened by Elvis and getting high with the Beatles. Awesome.

9: A Mighty Wind (2003)
Christopher Guest makes awesome film shocker. Okay so everything the guy touches just seems to be made of comedy gold. Even his cameo in Little shop of horrors or his outstanding performance in The Princess Bride show this guy nows what films to get involved in. This is the rather awesome story, when a famous folk record producer dies, his kids put on atribute show with some of his favourite bands.

As you would expect from this troup of actors the film has you laughing like a crazy person for the whole thing. All the bickering in the bands manages to be believable as do some of their rather outlandish stories. There isn't a bad performance in this. If you haven't seen it you really should, even if it's just for Spinal Tap as the Folksmen.Yeah that's right, Spinal Tap go folk. Fucking genuis.

8: Almost Famous (2000)
This list is a lot harder than I originally expected, therefore this rather awesome Cameron Crowe film only makes number 8. I love this film, life on the road in the seventies based on numerous things witnessed by Cameron Crowe when he was just a wee yin. It manages to not get too sentimental and shows the crazyness of the time in an endearing way. Which isn't the easiest thing to do.

The film follows Stillwater as they try to hit the big time, but don't quite get there. They are followed around the country by a young journalist played by Patrcik Fugit. Eventually seeing him as one of them and not the enemy (journalists). It's funny, and has genuinely heartwarming moments. But it's a film from Cameron Crowe, if you don't know what your getting into then it's best not to watch something this good. You fucking moron.

7: Airheads (1994) Bill and Ted (1989, 1991)
You may be wondering why I put these films together. The reason I have done this is because 1. They are awesome and 2. they don't really have a whole lot of music going on. I mean they're about bands but you don't get to see them play music that often. They're more stories about bands doing stupid things and making us laugh. Yeah it may not sound like the best logic but it's good enough justification for me.

In Airheads the Lone Rangers break into a radio station and hold the stations personel hostage in an attempt to get played on the radio. Bill and Ted feature the two protagonists going on crazy adventures, one that leads them back in time, the other ends up with them playing Death at Battleships. When I recently played battleships with my wife I felt the need to do a death impersonation everytime one of my ships was destroyed. I'm still married. Go figure.

6: Rock Star (2001)
I am a huge fan of rock and metal from the eigthies, this is a great account of a lot of that crazyness. Inspired by the real life story of the guy who was in a Judas Priest tribute band that became the singer of the band after the departure of Rob Halford. I would say the guys name but it's fucking ridiculous. Mark Wahlberg is alarmingly good in this. It's easy to forget he can actually act, I blame it on his mouth. There's just something not quite right with his mouth. Like Gordon Brown... But he makes good films, if you forget about Max Payne and Planet of the Apes, why Tim Burton, why???

Anyway it follows Izzys life as he is thrown into fame and all the dodgyness that surrounds it. As usual with these kind of films it charts both his rise and fall. It has a good ending though and doesn't feel the need to have him in junked up in a hotel room having just died from autoerotic asphyxia. Awesome performances from all the back up cast including the Zack Wylde who seems to be playing a cross between himself and Ted Nugent. If that isn't a reason to watch the damned film I don't know what is.

5: That Thing You Do (1996)
Tom Hanks, what a cunt. Seriously though the guy can be make you laugh or make you cry and now the dick can direct too. Fucking bastard. This film is a nostalgic look at the music business in the sixties. Giovanni Ribisi breaks his arm before his bands gig and they get in Tom Everitt Scott to replace him. The fusion creates the band the Wonders (well the Oneders to begin with) and they go on to have a hit single.

The film follows them as they go through the ups and downs of life in the lime light but not in the drug fuelled drink fest route a large number of these films tend to go down. It does show how cut throat the industry is but does it with plenty of joy in it's heart. You will leave this film feeling happy, and if you watch it till the end you find out that the bass players name in the credits is T. B. Player. Not even worthy of a name. I bet a lot of bassists feel that way.

4: The Commitments (1991)
This film is responsible for a lot of people getting into classic soul music. This is in no way a bad thing. It's the truly awesome film of a soul band in Ireland created by Jimmy Rabbitte who has dreams of managing the worlds greatest band. They get together, make some great music and inevitably explode as the egos struggle to fit on the same stage together. 

If you haven't seen this film you've probably spent your whole life living in a cave. The band still do gigs around the country but unfortunately, as actors, the stars from the band pretty much dissapeared. Popping up in small roles now and then. One of them died in the Phantom Menace.  The main exception of that is the ginger guitarist who is a huge recording artist in Ireland and made the rather awesome Once. Speaking of Once.

3: Once (2006)
I find it hard to put into words just how much I love this film. The songs are amazing, and Glen Hansards voice gives me goosebumps everytime I hear it. The film is basically a love story that develops between two people who make awesome music together. The film feels natural and nothing about it comes across as forced. The relationship plays out the way real relationships do. At no point does some hollywood fuckhead come along and tell them how to sell it to the masses.

So basically the two become friends through music, after she sees him busking and he promises to fix her vacuum cleaner. They get another couple of buskers and make a demo together. There's no suddenly they become famous added on the end to make you feel better. You know the if you believe in it then it will happen bollocks kids are sold by disney and TV shows. If you haven't seen this film, you really should get a hold of it. You won't be dissapointed.

2: This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
As far as mockumentaries go this is the fucking daddy. The only thing you're allowed to be shocked with is that this is only number 2 on this list. The songs are awesome, and make you snort liquid out your nose. The onstage personas are believable in their stupidity. Most importantly it doesn't at any point succumb to stereotypes. The band are dumb, and they are dumb througout. They really don't have a clue. This could possibly be one of the most quoted films of all time. If you go into any dressing room and see they have small bread then I bet you everything I own that someone will mention Spinal Tap.

Come on turn it up to 11, that's become standard talk for guitarists all over the world. Much to most sound engineers dismay. This is the bible of mistakes made by bands. I have no favourite scene in this film becasue everytime I think of one I remember another one, and another one, and on and on and on and on until I'm quoting the whole film as my favourite bit.

1: The Blues Brothers (1980)
Now I bet some of you spat in disgust all over your monitor when you saw This Is Spinal Tap at number 2. Until you saw what I put at number one right? Awesome. Beginning life as a Saturday Night Live sketch The Blues Brothers went on to become on of the greatest films of all time. Just ignore the sequel, that never happened, just remember the good times. Staying up to watch the film on TV regardless of how late it was on, and finding it hard not to dance around the living room. This is a film that just fills you with crazy happiness. Unlike the film Happiness which although awesome doesn't really live up to it's name.

It's sad that John Belushi died a couple of years after making this, I like to think this is a film that could have easily turned into a series of films. Each more madcapped than the last. It was the eighties, they did it well back then. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my little list. If you dissaprove of this list in any way then please feel free to fuck off. I'm lovely really.

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