Monday, 15 July 2013

Texas Chainsaw 3D

So these days I've been reviewing for a wee online magazine called West Lothians GoGuide. So to keep up to date with all my ramblings then check them out there. This month however there was a review to spare. Here it is.

I’m a huge fan of the original texas chainsaw massacre. I remember buying a copy from a shop in Virginia galleries back when it was banned. You’d walk into the shop and a guy would hand you a list. Then he’d make a call and someone would turn up with a pirated VHS copy of the film, copied from the old beta max or laserdisc. It was like some weird drug deal but you were fixing for a horror film. But that was back when it was the only way to get a hold of this kind of film. It’s crazy to think that now you can find it on DVD in a supermarket. When it was finally rereleased in the cinema I ran to see it at a midnight showing and it blew me away. Words cannot describe how intense the original film is on the big screen.

So now they’ve decided to make a new sequel… And well. This film is like someone digging up a dead loved one and smashing them to pieces with a hammer whilst shouting “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO” repeatedly. It has no redeemable qualities and does a paranormal activity. By that I mean it completely rewrites what happened at the end of the last film. I mean it shows you what happens at the end of the original film, then completely disregards it and suddenly has a big group of people in the rednecks house to get shot up. Oh yeah and a baby.

The film follows the baby, now grown up. She has been left a house by a dead relative she never knew she had. She goes with a group of her friends to the house, Leatherface is there. People die in really uninteresting ways. Unlike the original it does nothing for the horror genre. It just meanders along and is a huge disappointment. Especially considering they already have good sequels made of the original AND they’ve already remade this and made a prequel to the remake. It makes no sense that this film should happen. It boggles the mind. It’s a big pair of pants. Stay well clear.

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